Long time, no write

It's been a VERY long time since I wrote, and I apologize for the absence, but there is a reason and in my mind, its a good one. After a couple of weeks at the hospital/rehab center, my mother was released to return HOME! Yes HOME! I really wasn't sure if she was ever going to come home, but she is there. Of course, a few days before she was to be released, she got up out of her wheelchair to throw something away. When she was returning to her wheelchair, she miss-stepped and fell. She has a severe laceration on her shin. They couldn't stitch it closed because her skin is so thin (I saw her in the ER - it was bad). She has developed an infection so she sees a wound doctor everyday for iv antibiotics. I saw my mom last week-end and she still looks very tired, but she is home. Ok, so why haven't I written since this is good news? I am still a bit leary. Afraid the bubble might burst. You know what I mean. What if just by me stating she is home, she injures herself again and ends back in the hospital? Crazy, I know, but that is how my mind works with my mom.


Ok, on to some other news. I am headed to St Louis next week for a PartyLite conference. It should be fun just because that is my hometown. I am going to have dinner with my brother and his girlfriend Thursday evening and I will get to see his new house. Very excited. I get to show my PartyLite friends my old stompin' grounds. I am hoping to see my best friend Andrea while I am there. I saw her last October while I was there for my class reunion. Before that, it had been 5 years since I saw her. Just love that girl!


School starts in 6 weeks. I have to laugh because everytime we go to Target or Wal-Mart, the kids are wanting to get school supplies. Mason is excited to be starting Kindergarten and Courtney is excited that her brother will be going to her school. I don't know what I am going to do with just the baby everyday. No fighting, no bickering. Wow- just imagine.


My friend Colleen has asked that I post some new pictures. Well, my dear friend Colleen, here are some pics just for you! Hope you enjoy them.

Courtney in her First Communion dress made out of my wedding dress

Courtney with Grandma and Grandpa Meyer

Courtney, Mommy, and Grandma and Grandpa Meyer

Courtney, Uncle Ralph, Aunt Carol, and Grandma and Grandpa

Mason and Makenna with their cousin Jeff at the wedding

Well, I have lots to do before I leave for my trip. I best get started. Until next time....

Good news/Bad news

Good news: my mother is doing better - not great, but definitely an improvement
Bad news: my father-in-law either had another stroke or a seizure - they don't know which.
Good news: Courtney got straight A's on her report card.
Bad news: having a very difficult time potty-training Makenna
Good news: summer is here and we are spending a LOT time in the pool
Bad news: the kids hair is turning a tint of green due to all the swimming
Good news: my friend's son who I am watching this summer is behaving very well
Bad news: entire day with 4 children (really should I say anymore)
Good news: Scott won his fishing tournament today
Bad news: he came home and fell asleep immediately as he's been up since 2am.
Good news: I had a very healthy dinner - huge salad
Bad news: I've had fast food at least twice this week
Good news: finally writing a new posting
Bad news: so exhausted that I can't write anymore

I am sure I have more good/bad news to share. Maybe one day soon, it will be just a good news day. Until next time....

How do you know...

when its time to let go? That was the first sentence of the sermon today at church. I was really looking forward to going to church today. Was in need of some enlightenment. Serious enlightenment. Let's back up a minute.

My mom is not doing well. Let me rephrase that. My mom is getting worse. That is more accurate since she hasn't been "well" in a very long time. My mom has been in a nursing home/rehab facility for a while now. To be honest, I don't even recall when she went back in. She was in the hospital for pneumonia in December. Got well enough to go home. Fell and fractured her pelvic. Got better enough to go home. Fell and bruised her tailbone and hasn't been home since. She got sick while in the nursing home/rehab facility (it makes me feel better to add the rehab facility part because I hate to think of my mom in a nursing home). We told the nurses to keep an eye on her as her colds turn immediately into bronchitis and then into pneumonia. They didn't listen. She was admitted on Monday to the hospital with pneumonia. They said she would be in there for a couple of days and then sent to a hospital/rehab facility (better than the nursing home/rehab facility). Well, they did some testing. Here is what I know so far. Her kidneys aren't doing what they are suppose to do. The levels (not sure what levels) are high so they took her off some of her meds to help her kidneys work better. One of the meds they removed was her blood pressure meds. Needless to say, her blood pressure is up. Her skin is like paper and one of the techs who was taking blood, ripped off a patch of her skin that had to be taped back on. It hurt her so now she doesn't want any more needles (who could blame her). We found out today that she has an ulcer. The doctor mentioned possibly being sent to the hospital/rehab center tomorrow, but it doesn't appear that is going to happen. I spoke with the nurse and asked if my family should come down. She said "No, but.... I am not going to say death is immenient, but.... She is the final stages of COPD." Can I just say I hate the word BUT. I hated it as a child and I hate it today. I hate that my mom smoked for so many years. I hate that when she finally did quit, it was too late. I hate that my mother in law is watching us go through this and she continues to smoke. I hate that I have friends who smoke knowing the heartache I am going through. I understand it is difficult to quit. I understand its an addiction. But, when I hear the excuse "I don't want to gain weight" as to why they won't quit smoking. Let me tell you. I would much rather have my mother be 10-20 lbs heavier than to watch her labor in breathing. My mother told my sister that the reason she doesn't eat very much is because she only has the strength to either eat or breath and she is choosing to breath. The glimmer in my mother's eyes is gone. The fight is all but out of her. I hate the thought of losing her. I need her in my life. I need to hold her hand. I am not ready to let go. I am not sure if I will ever be. However, I am the one who advised the nurse of my mother's DNR orders. They didn't have the paperwork. They had her down as a full code. My mother doesn't want CPR or to be on tubes. As much as it pains me, I respect her wishes. What is left of my mother really isn't my mother. I think that is what hurts the most. God this just really sucks.

It seems like lately I have been surrounded by death. A friend of mine's mother recently passed away. A very close friend of my former classmate's baby son died from SIDS. Another friend of a friend's Autistic son drowned in a pool. I was sent a couple of blog links where a mother died the day after having her baby, another mother found out at 20 weeks that her daughter she was carrying wouldn't survive and then a few weeks after her daughter's death, her nephew died from SIDS. The most amazing part of all of these stories is the parents' strength. Not only their emotional and physical strength, but their spiritual strength is remarkable. I went to a catholic grade school and high school, I even took a couple of religion classes in college and I still don't know God as well as they do. I admire and envy their relationship with God. I would be so angry with Him for taking my child. I am sure I will be angry when He takes my mom. I am trying to get closer to Him, but I am having difficulty putting all my faith in His hands. Its difficult to surrender everything to Him. I really wish I had that ability.

This brings me back to church today. I was very excited about going to church. I thought maybe the priest would be discussing something I needed to hear today. The pastor of our church is awesome. He was in charge of the grade school when my husband attended so he has known my in-laws for years. He knows my parents as they always sit in the front row at church (we did the same when I was a child - I didn't like it). He married Scott and I. Baptized Mason and Makenna. He made a point to be the one to baptize Makenna. He helped my mother answer her questions about converting to catholic and guided her through the process. I am sure there is a church closer to our house now, but I still travel the extra distance just because of Father Gerry. I've never felt a connection with a priest like I do with him. Anyway, he announced today at church that he is leaving our parrish to go to a smaller one that doesn't have a school. He is getting older and has some heart issues. He asked for the transfer so he could not have as much stress. He stated he always thought he would leave our parrish in a coffin, but decided that the best thing for our church, the school, the new church, and himself was to take this other position. Let me tell you how much I love this man. I cried when he told us today. He was a connection to God for me. When he laid his hands on my children's heads to bless them, I knew he was bringing God to them. Now, he is leaving. It is like the straw that broke the camels back. How much more can I endure? I look at God for strength and He is knocking out my cornerstones one at a time. Can I just say again how this all just sucks????

Its getting late. Until next time....

Nite out w/ the girls and some weird dreams

Scott got done early with the softball tournament. That is if you call leaving home at 5:30am and returning 12 hours later, early. However, it was early enough for me to go out with a couple of friends, one of which is recently single. We had a great time. There was lots of laughing. They were laughing at me because I was chatting up with a lot of different people. Mostly guys for my newly single friend and for the possibility of free drinks. Neither happened, but fun anyway. One of the ladies we met had a beautiful dress that she got at Target. I will need to check that out. Anyway, drank way too much. Those Vodka Collins get me everytime. I got home and went to sleep on the couch. Why, you ask? Because Scott had to get up early this morning to go fishing, and I didn't want to accidently turn off the alarm clock. Yep, he is out again. Why oh why am I so permissive? He said he won't be out too late, but then again 12 hours at a softball tournament is considered early so who knows when he will be home. So back to my hangover. Yes, I haven't had one of those in a long time. I am normally very responsible with my drinking. I usually don't drink much because I have children who need me and my functioning brain. However last night, I drank more than usual because 1. I had a headache that I so desperately wanted to go away (have a worse one now, but gone last night) and 2. just needed to forget my home issues for a while. We went back to my friends house for some late night snacking. She had some White Castles hamburgers. If you ever had White Castles, you know that they only taste good after a nite of drinking. Perfect munchy! With my drinking excursion, came some of the strangest dreams I've had in a while. I can't even explain them as they were so weird, but they involved my friends, my friend's mother, a dried up Christmas tree, a denim jacket, and a strange man's debit card in my pocket. Very weird.

Well my children need breakfast and I need a soda to help ease my tummy. I will post some pictures from the wedding in Dallas and Courtney's first communion soon. Until next time...

And life continues...

Courtney must have sensed my frustration after my last posting because she got her homework done within 30 minutes and after only being told once to do it. Amazing! Last night, the kids and I did a 20 minute "before daddy gets home" cleaning around the house. We jammed out to some music and had fun doing chores. Once again, Amazing! Today the plan is to get the rest of the house including their rooms cleaned. Will we have another incident like the other day???? Who knows, but I am hopeful. Just waiting for the "other shoe to drop".

Scott is playing in a softball tournament today. Sigh! On the bright side, a friend asked me to go out tonight. But, in order for me to go, Scott would have to be home. So here's hoping the team gets done quick. Lose 2 games and be done. I know, I know, pathetic. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

Other news: my mom is still at the nursing home. She was suppose to come home today, but she got bronchitis again (a normal occurence w/ emphazemia and COPD). I am not sure when she will be returning. Courtney and I had a tea party with her last week-end. My mom feels bad that she can't do very many things with Courtney so we thought we would bring the fun to her. It was a nice visit.

Not much else is new. Need to get working on this house. UGH! Until next time....

Excuse me, but I would like to exchange my life...

That is how I feel right now. That and exhausted. My throat is soar from yelling at my son to clean his room. My kids' rooms are a mess which is reflective of how I feel. The last 3 week-ends have been extremely busy. This past week-end we were at a wedding. Scott's parents came over to watch the kids while we enjoyed ourselves. Scott's mom once again helped the kids clean their rooms. So their rooms were beautiful on Saturday evening. It didn't take long for them to get right back to their messy state. I get so damn frustrated and aggravated. Why is it that my children who claim to love me respect Grandma more? Why is it when she asks them to put something away, they do it w/out question or hesitation? Why is it that when Scott gets the same reaction that I get, does he say "I don't know what to tell you" when I ask him how to get them to clean up? Why is it that they can clean up the toys they play with at school, at friend's house, basically anywhere but at home? I start out by stating lets get their rooms clean - nicely, in a sweet voice, with a please at the end. I then walk in on them making a bigger mess or watching tv in one of their bedrooms. It gets my blood pumping. I calmly turn off the tv and remind them that I asked them to do something. I get "its too much" from Mason and "how come I have to do everything around here" with a HUGE attitude from Courtney. To say it pisses me off is an understatement. I've had tremendous headaches the last few weeks and I must say it stems from this sense of stress in my household. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! Just once I wish my family could do one thing that was asked of them the first time. Add to it little to no support from my husband, just adds fuel to the fire. Courtney was saying something about a boy in her class doing better than she and we explained to her that there will always people who do things better than you and those who do things worse than you. Its just a fact of life. Courtney asked Scott what he did better than me. His response: dinner, laundry, housecleaning, sports. She asked what I did better - his response: I can't think of anything. Then chuckled when questioned why he couldn't think of anything. I told him that his comment not only made me look inferior in our children's eyes, but apparently I am inferior in his as well. The response I got - Sorry, I just can't think of anything. He then proceeded to not understand why I was upset! If I am so damn inferior that what the hell is he doing with me? I am sure there is a woman out there who would be a better match for him. I truly think that was the straw that broke me. Its bad enough that I have periods of low self-esteem (I've been dealing with that my whole life), but have someone who you love and so close to you affirm that feeling is just heartbreaking. I know I have good qualities, maybe even great, but that comment just shattered me, and I am not sure how to put the pieces together again. So I guess I will continue with my medioacracy (not sure if I am spelling that correctly, but you get the idea) life where my children don't listen and my husband feels superior. The worse part about all of this is that I know people have bigger issues on their plate. A dear friend who I was reunited with recently had been going through difficult times and I deeply felt for her. I wanted so badly to take her pain away. But, being the amazing person that she is, she fought her own battle and is still fighting, but she is making her way out. I know that my issues are small in comparison, but in this household of ours, it is pouring out the seams.

Need to pick up my daughter at the bus stop. Until next time...

I'm a leavin' on a jet plane.....

Tomorrow I am headed off to Dallas with my three lovely children and my 82 year-old father. Oh, such fun!!! I would say I need to drink but how would I be able to put those air thingys over my childrens' and father's faces if the cabin pressure fell?????

The trip should be fun. As many of you know, my nephew is getting married and my daughters are the flower girls. Mason is my date since my husband is unable to join us. I think he just says he can't because of work just to get out of things.

Like I said the trip should be fun, but these past few days leading up to this, well... not so much. Let see, our budget is getting tighter and tighter to the point we may have to live off Mac N Cheese for a week or two. I played the lotto so keep your fingers crossed! Yesterday, I had to run around like a maniac trying to locate a Fed Ex center that was open late enough so I could get a package to Massachussetts today. Then today when I am trying to get the clothes we are taking with us clean, the heating coil in my dryer went out. So I trucked a couple of loads of laundry and a basket full of wet clothes to my in-laws so we could have clean underwear in Texas. I am sure everyone on the plane will appreciate our efforts!

I have packed my bible for those moments that are too stressful. Its funny. I went to a catholic school all of my life and I have never read the bible. To be honest, I am not sure I was required to read it in any of my religion classes. Anyway, I was looking for something to calm me as I was waking up in the middle of the night with some serious panic attacks. One of my friends mentioned reading the bible and then I saw all those people on Big Brother reading it so I figured I'd give it a shot. Now, there are stories that I don't understand and way to many names to remember in Genesis (gees, those men lived to be in their 900s and continued to have kids. Talk about generation gaps!) However, I do find it relaxing and I don't have nearly as many panic attacks. My sister-in-law and oldest brother will probably be shocked and proud that I am reading the bible. Very devout catholics.

Well, I need to get a few more little things done and then I am off to bed. Until next time....

Not so much to say and so much time to say it

Good gravy, my life is a bit boring lately. I think the most exciting thing that has happened in the last few weeks is that we got some "new to us" furniture. Some friends of my in-laws are moving back to England so they were getting rid of a lot of their furniture. We got a beautiful solid wood kitchen table with 6 chairs, a full size bed, and a white wicker nightstand.

The bed and nightstand went to Courtney. Of course, that meant we had to get new bedding. She is such a girl or I should say young lady. She wanted a lamp that went with the bedding and even brought her own money to buy it. I couldn't make her pay for it even if it wasn't on my list of things to get. Which meant Mason had to get a new lamp. He got a Cars themed lamp that looks like a stop light. Its very cool. All three got clothes hampers. Maybe their dirty clothes can make it into the hamper instead of the floor. Wishful thinking.

My mom fell again. This time in the bathroom. The good news is that she just bruised her tailbone. I told her that if she had a bigger butt like myself, she wouldn't have gotten hurt. My mother has no boobs, no butt, and is thin. Yep, you guessed it, I took after my dad. Big hips, big boobs, big butt. Thank God it all stopped with the big nose. Serious honkers on my dad's side.

Not much else is new. Need to make a hair appointment this week as we leave for Dallas a week from Thursday. Friday I will be picking up the girls' dresses for the wedding. I can't believe its almost here.

Well, I need to get to bed to start my crazy, yet somehow still boring, week. Until next time...

Sleep over

The kids are, or should I say were, on Spring Break this week. It only took 2 days before the bickering, teasing, whining, crying, etc began. So needless to say, I am looking forward to school resuming on Tuesday.

However, on the bright side, my in-laws are keeping the children tonight for a sleep over. Halleluhah!!!!! Scott and I have a night out w/out worrying about coming home by a certain time! Oh, what to do, what to do!!!! So far, we know we are going out for dinner. After that, its anyone's guess at this point. Woo Hoo!!!!

The last couple of nights Courtney and Mason slept on the pullout couch. I promised them we could do this if they kept their rooms cleaned. They worked together on getting their rooms and Makenna's room cleaned. Very proud of them! I tried to sleep w/ them the first night. Boy that pullout is UNCOMFORTABLE!!!! I could feel every spring in the mattress! If I ever invite you to stay with us, you may want to find a hotel instead or get an airmattress. However, the kids loved it! Go figure.

Not much else is new. Still working on getting to St Louis in July. It pretty much looks like a go for me! Woo Hoo! Also, we leave for Dallas in 4 weeks! Can't wait to see my girls in their beautiful dresses.

Got to get some bills paid. Until next time....

Freaking out my husband....

is so much fun. My sister came in town this past week-end to visit. She had cleaned out her closets and brought down all of the clothes she was going to get rid of to me. The clothes filled a large duffle bag which weighed 47lbs (the bag had to be weighed at the check-in counter). She brought me a TON of clothes. I am so loved. I tried everything on after the kids and I went shopping with my sister. I had the clothes in piles on my bed when Scott came home. Ah, my prime time to get him! I met him at the front door and stated my sister is a bad influence on me as he knew we went shopping that day. He asked me what I meant. I told him to look in our room. He saw the clothing covered bed and looked at me in astonishment! "Did you buy all this?????" I told him that I got a really good deal on them and my sister was very convincing that I needed these. WHAT????? Yes, I paid my sister 40 cents for the clothes. I owed her $21.60 for something she got for me and I gave her $22. Scott told me that I was lucky I didn't really buy all those clothes. Otherwise, he would have all new rods and reels!!!! Sucker!!!!! Hee Hee Hee!

Easter was nice. We had our own egg hunt in the house as it rained all day on Saturday. Very wet outside. We then went to a friend's house for a little gathering. It was a very nice and relaxing day.

Not much else is new here. I know I know - how boring her life is, but I will take an occassional boring period to help out with those completely out of control periods of my life!

I know it was a long time since I posted. I will try my best to get out here more often. Until next time....

Momma said there will be days like this....

I just figured she was trying to make me cry. I am back in my "do I need to be on some type of meds" mode. I get so frustrated with Scott, and the kids just seem to add to it all. After the week-end softball tournament and the week-end in Vegas, Scott was gone last week-end as well. When I said something about being gone 3 week-ends in a row, he said "Well, you are the one who wanted me to play softball so you could bring the kids." UMMM - Those words never left my lips - I assure you! When he mentioned playing softball, he stated that it would be one week-end a month and the sponsor would pay for a room for all of us when they played out of town. Which by the way, they only had one tournament out of town and the guys had to pay for their own hotel room! Why did I agree to him doing this???? Because I am an idiot!!! Other women always tell me that I am far more lenient than they. They would never allow their husbands to do half the stuff mine does. So does that make Scott appreciative of me???? NO! When I bring it to his attention, he states I am looking for a pat on the back. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Pat on the back??? I KNOW I won't get one of those, but a little acknowledgement would be nice. How about taking the reigns every now and then and plan a night out without any assistance or guidance from your wife? I wanted to go out for my birthday so I had to call the babysitter and the restaurant. We are going to a charity poker tournament this Saturday and I had to arrange the babysitter. Its always up to me. I've told him I want to have a big surprise party for my 40th - I will probably have to arrange that as well. Oh, did I mention that when he comes home from softball, work, or fishing, he sits his butt on the couch and watches tv until he falls asleep. I've gotten to the point now that I don't even wake him to come to bed. More room for me! Now, I don't mean to make Scott out to be a horrible husband because he does have his good/great points, but this just isn't one of them. Why is it so hard sometimes?

The kids have been driving me crazy lately. They aren't listening at all. They are arguing back at times, and I am getting to my boiling point. Their rooms are complete disasters. When I tell them to clean them up, I get "its too much". Well, buddy, I didn't play with the toys so maybe you should have put them away when you are done. The whining and crying start and after about 30 minutes of asking, telling, yelling, and then screaming, I give up and just close the door. My house looked horrible the other day. It was so bad, I would have been embarrassed if a burglar broke in. The cops would take one look and say they really ransacked the place. I would then have to explain - no, it looked like this before it happened. Its just so damn frustrating.

On a somewhat of a good note, PartyLite's National Conference is in my hometown - St Louis this July. I really want to go. Partly because it will really be motivating and educational, but mostly because it would be a get-a-way for me. The bad part is the timing. July is extremely time for Scott and I would need to have a sitter watch the kids for a couple of days, but with what I've been earning, I should be able to afford it. It will be just a matter of convincing Scott.

Well, I better get the kids off to bed (stepping over all the toys to get to their beds!). Until next time....

Home Alone

As I stated before, Scott is gone this week-end. He is in Vegas with some of the guys. I am very jealous as I LOVE Vegas!!! I wish we could go back there again. He left very early yesterday morning. I ran errands yesterday. I finally broke down and got Microsoft Office upgrade for the computer. I currently have Microsoft Works which has word processing, excel, etc. The problem was that I could never open any attachments people sent me unless they were a pdf file. I finally decided that I couldn't keep sending documents to my friends and asking them to copy and paste it into an e-mail. I bit the bullet. Now I just have to install it.

After my trip to Best Buy and dealing with the not so friendly Geek Squad. (You would think that if they were geeks they would be a bit friendlier!) Anyway, I took Makenna into the Barnes and Nobles that is next door. Makenna had a blast looking at all the books. If I had the money, I would have bought 10 books!!! But, I bought a couple of books to read to Mason and Makenna and a chapter book for Courtney. I love buying books for the kids. I love to read to them. Its funny because every now and then Courtney will read a book to the kids and she does her voice fluctuations just like I do them. And wouldn't you know it, Mason brought home a couple Scholastic book order forms!!!! Well, I will just have to get a few more books!!!!

Scott called last night to tell us that he got to Vegas safely, but lost his phone at the Atlanta airport. Now, most of you know, this isn't the first phone Scott has lost or the second. I believe we are on number 5 now. At least, this time he didn't drop it in the lake while fishing! I don't know about that man and his phones!

Well, I have another load of laundry to do and some other household chores to attend to. Until next time....

Just what I needed

Last night, some of the girls - Cindy, Lori, Annie, and Michelle came over with their kids to hang out. Scott and the guys are out of town at a softball tournament so I asked the ladies to come over. I REALLY needed to have them around. They are my saving grace. I was seriously wondering if I needed to be on some type of medication for depression, anxiety, or whatever. Let me fill you in on the latest.

Scott plays softball on Tuesdays and Thursdays so the kids stay home with me. On Wednesdays, Courtney has bible classes so the kids go with me. Scott lately has been fishing in a local tournament that is held every Wednesday so even when we get home, he isn't there. Thus I am alone with the kids. He fishes in a tournament at least 2 Sundays a month which of course, means he has to pre-fish for the tournament either the week-end or the Friday before the tournament. He plays in softball tournaments at least one week-end a month - sometimes 2. He has his own lawn business so he works everyday. Right now its a bit slow as the grass isn't growing so there are times he doesn't work on Fridays. Of course, those are the days he is fishing. During the summer, he is working from dawn to dusk during the week to get his work done. To recap, Scott is gone a lot!!! Oh, did I mention that he is going to Vegas next week-end with the guys?!?!?!

Scott asked me yesterday, what I needed him to do before he left for the tournament. My response was "Stay here, and let me go away for the week-end." He laughed - I was serious. I stated that I love my children very much and truly enjoy being a SAHM, but I also need a break. He said I get a break when I do my shows. So I get a break when I am working? Scott claimed that my shows isn't work. I stand up, do a presentation, take orders, and then leave. His idea of work is physical work. So the 9 years at the insurance company wasn't work???? His response "This isn't going the way I thought". You think!?!?!?!? Scott claims he understands my need to get out, but I don't think he "gets it".

Top all that off with my mother not coming home today, but getting transferred to a nursing home while she recovers from her fractured pelvic. She still can't walk so she can't come home. The issue with this is that I have never met or heard of anyone going into a nursing home and coming out. So fear has really set in. I don't show this around my parents or my kids, but my insides are falling apart.

So kids 24/7, husband MIA, and mother in nursing home. Seriously, anyone have anything for this!!!!!
PS. thank you ladies for coming over!

Today is my birthday!

I am 39 today and I must say I am not feeling old! Turning 30 was rough for me, but I am actually looking forward to 40. Weird, I know! Scott and I are going out to dinner tonight. We got some gift certificates from some of his clients for Christmas so we are going to use a couple of them for dinner tonight. We got a babysitter for tonight so it will be just the two of us. I am really looking forward to spending some alone time with my hubby. I wanted to see a movie tonight as well, but we may pass on it. We will see.

Speaking of spending some one on one time, Mason has been very attached lately. On Monday, he pitched a crying fit when I dropped him off at school. He hasn't done this since school started so I wasn't sure what brought this on. After discussing the situation with his teacher, it appears he misses me when I go to do my shows. I talked to Mason about it, and he just wants some one on one time with Mommy. So, now we make sure we have some alone time almost everyday. Sometimes its just reading a book to him while he is in bed. Honestly, his reaction to my doing shows made me feel so loved. It is really sweet. Of course, in a few weeks, I may be back to wanting to wring his neck, but for now, he is my little loving man!

Well, I better get going. We having our yard fenced in today, and Mason wants to show me what they are doing. Until next time....

Better days have arrived

Courtney had her first Confession on Thursday which was my Mom's birthday. We stopped by to see her and bring her cupcakes before the main event of the evening. My Mom is doing MUCH better!!! She was actually dressed and sitting in a wheelchair when we arrived. Huge improvement over the painstricken look she had the day before. It was so bad, I almost called my sister to tell her to come down here. I'm glad I waited because the improvement was that great! She is still in the rehab center and will most likely be there for a few more weeks if not longer.

Back to Courtney's first confession. It was a nice ceremony. Scott and I had to walk her to the priest and then wait for her outside the room until she was done. We wanted to hold a glass up to the door so we could hear what she was willing to admit she's done, but we didn't - to many witnesses. Afterwards, we had some cookies and juice and then headed home. Oh, to be a fly on the wall!!!

Mason turned 5 yesterday. 5!!!! I just can't believe it. We had a party for him and he had a blast. Got lots of great toys! One thing I got him was this basketball game. I didn't realize how big it was until we opened it and put it together. It must be 5 feet long and 3 feet wide. I don't think it will fit in his room. It is a pretty cool game. It has 2 hoops - one worth 2pts and one worth 5pts. It keeps score and everything. The best part was that it was marked down from $90 to $15. I love that his birthday is after Christmas. We get such good bargains for his presents. We also got him a skateboard. He's been asking for one so I broke down and got him one. Scott's mom got him a helmet, elbow and knee pads. However, I would feel much safer if they made a complete foam body suit.

The only bad thing about the past few days was a "discussion" Scott and I had about cleaning. Yet, another thing in which Scott appears to be superior. I sometimes wonder why he even keeps me around since he is so much better at everything than I am.

Scott and I have a completely different idea of cleaning. He likes for the house to look clean ie toss things in a closet, stack things neatly on the desk, etc. As he says it, get it off the floor and out of the way. My idea of clean is to have a place for everything and everything in its place. The problem I run into is when I can't find an appropriate place for something. For example, I have a tote bag of things to take to the ballpark for the kids ie pad of paper, coloring pencils, books, etc. I don't know where to put it. I would like to keep it in the laundry room, but there is no place for it as the shelf is full of other stuff that doesn't have a home. I get frustrated when I can't find a home for something and begin to obsess over it. I will start pulling things out of closets or off shelves to rearrange and to make room. However, this tends to create a bigger mess and then I am overwhelmed. I want a clean and a neat house. I don't necessary need to have all the labels facing the same direction, but I want to know where something is if you ask for it. Its hard when your husband and children could care less. I made a deal with Scott that if I kept the house like his idea of clean for a month, then we would go shopping for storage/organization items I want to get the house clean and organized to my liking. Wish me luck.

Well, its getting late and I'm tired from all this activities. Until next time...

Where to begin

I don't even know where to begin with this blog.

Let's start with the good news. My PartyLite business is going pretty well. I really enjoy doing the shows. I have a lot of fun. More parties mean more money.

Money - I hate stressing about money. It truly is the root of all evil, but it would be nice to have more of it. I admit it - I am the worst when it comes to setting a budget. I really wish Scott would take care of the finances again. It just stresses me out so much!

Another item of not so wonderful news, my mother fell at home on Sunday and fractured her pelvic. She was in the hospital for a few days and was moved to the rehab center last night. That is good news, but I can't seem to shake this feeling that the end is coming near. I just don't know what I am going to do when she leaves us. I know its coming and have been preparing it for a long time now, but when it actually happens, it will crush me like no other blow. I cry just thinking about it. Tears are streaming down my face as I type this. However, I have to be strong. Strong for her, for my dad, for my kids, for myself. Tomorrow is her 82nd birthday. She's had a long, happy life. I just want her in mine and my kids for a lot longer. It just stinks - a lot.

Ok, enough crying. I have a lot to do this week. Courtney has her First Confession tomorrow, and Mason's birthday party is on Saturday. Plenty to do. Plenty to keep my mind off my woes. Until next time.....

DNA test please!!!

I received Courtney's report card today. Straight A's!!!! If that wasn't enough to make my heart sing, I also received her reading assessment. Remember she is in the second grade, however she is reading at the level of a 5th grader in their 4th month!!! I am so proud of her. However, this does beg the question - is this REALLY our child????? Don't get me wrong, Scott and I aren't stupid people, but to have a child reading 3 grade levels above her while in the 2nd grade just baffles me. I guess reading Goodnight Moon and the other story books floating around this house must have paid off. Now, if we could only the same results from our other two....

Until next time....

My son's internal thermonitor is off....

Ok, Mason can drive me crazy at times, but this just takes the cake. All summer long, he would put on long pants and long sleeve shirts. I would tell him to change as it is way too hot (in the high 90's) to wear that. We would argue about it, and he would reluctantly change into a t-shirt and shorts.

This morning the tempature was in the 40's, and Mason decided he wanted to wear a t-shirt and shorts to school. UGH!!!! After much discussion and taking him outside in his shorts and t-shirt, he changed into long pants and a long sleeve shirt. I can't wait to see what he wants to wear tomorrow!!!!

Hello, my name is Barb and I am a

Hugger. Yep, I'm a huge hugger. The bigger the hug, the better. When people ask if I like hugs or kisses better, the answer is always hugs. Love the hugs. That is probably why you always seeing me hug my kids. Huge hugger, I tell you, huge!!!

The problem I find being a Hugger is that I don't know how to hug those who aren't huggers. You know the ones I am talking about. If they hug at all, they put one arm around you and pat you on the back. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that not everyone is a hugger. I may not understand why, but I do acknowledge they exist. When I am faced with a non-hugger or a one arm patter, I find myself a bit flustered. What do I do with my arms??? Do I keep them by my side???? Cross them???? Swing them???? Do I pat the patter????

I have come to realize that I am what I am. So, with that being said, I will hereby give everyone big hugs when I see them. For all of you patters out there, be warned, I will give you a bigger squeeze for every pat you give me. The non-huggers, well, don't be alarmed if I start flailing my arms about for they just don't know what to do in those situations.

Well, I am off to give my children huge hugs goodnite. To all my friends - {{{{{hugs}}}}} - love you. Until next time.....

May I see your ID?

"Most certainly!" was my response when the cashier at the grocery asked for my ID for my beer and wine. Let me tell you, I will gladly show anyone my ID if they ask for it. Well, maybe not so "gladly" if its a police officer who pulled me over for speeding or if someone wants to verify I don't qualify for the Senior discount. However, that cashier set the tone for the remainder of the day - it was a VERY good day!

With the exception of my room and my bathroom, my house was immaculate! I can always close my bedroom door! I made a deal with Mason at the beginning of the week that if he kept his room clean all week, he could stay for lunch on Friday at school. He got lunch at school yesterday! That is quite a feat for my little man. I am very proud of him. Let's hope this little motivation will carry us through the school year.

Last night was my starter show for PartyLite. I decided that I wanted to contribute to our household income while still staying at home with my kids. I really don't want to go back to work at least not now. Maybe once they are all in school, I will get a part-time job. They key word there is Maybe!

Anyway, I digress. As I said last night was my starter show. I had a pretty decent turn out. In order for me to obtain my kit, I must have at least 6 shows booked within 30 days of my getting my kit. I have 7!!!! I am very excited. As some of you know, I did Big Yellow Box for a short time while it was still in business. I think I had 7 shows total with Big Yellow Box so I am definitely off to a good start.

My nephew's fiancee found a dress she wants the girls to wear in the wedding. It is a mini-version of hers. It is very pretty. Below is a picture.




Well, I better get going. Mason has a bowling birthday party this afternoon and we still need to get a present. Until next time....

Back to school

Well, the kids went back to school today. Let me tell you, I am exhausted!!! I am not sure if I am tired because they were all home 24/7 or because I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in weeks. Maybe its a combination of the two. Now maybe I can get some things done around the house and get back to my workout routine. What I know for sure, I am going to bed early tonight!!! Now if Makenna would only stay in her own bed at night. Nothing like trying to roll over only to be blocked by a 2 year old snuggling right up to you.





Here are a couple of flower girl dresses I found on-line. I have sent them to my sister to get my nephew's fiancee's opinion. Courtney is getting very excited.

Well, I better get these invoices out so we can get some money and pay bills. Until next time....

My New Years Resolutions - subject to change without notice

Happy New Year!!!!

I remember when I was under 21, I couldn't wait until I was of drinking age so I could truly celebrate New Years as it was intended - drinking heavily and regretting it the next day. However as I get closer and closer to 40, I find myself celebrating New Years in the comfort of my own family room watching tv in my jammies. I must admit there have been a few times where I have slept through the ball dropping. I blame the children. Totally their fault!

Ok, here are my New Year Resolutions (as of right now)

1. Keep the game room, family room, kitchen, and the kids' bathroom clean. I say this as my children are chasing each other through the house while the dogs are play fighting with each other. Toys everywhere!

2. Exercise more. Just watching my children is exhausting and I am currently writing on my blog thus staying out of the way of my racing children and fighting dogs.

3. Drink more water. As I am planning on having a beer or two or three for dinner. Again, children and dogs in the house all day long.

4. Make a budget and stick to it. Dang, I think we are almost out of beer!!!!!

Yeah, I am not sure how these resolutions are going to work for me. Its too early to tell. Maybe I should hold off on implementing these until after the kids go back to school next week....

In addition to resolutions, I also like to make a few goals for myself for the year. Yep, you guessed it, here are my goals.

1. Potty train Makenna
2. Get Mason to stop sucking his thumb
3. Stop yelling so much
4. Get my closets organized

Wow, my goals seem to revolve around my children. Such the mom! I can only imagine what my goals would be if I didn't have my kids. Let see, come home from the bars at least 4 hours before I have to be work, only buy 12 pairs of shoes, organize another girls week-end to Vegas (notice I said ANOTHER as to imply we already had one or more), etc. Ahh, the joys of having children!!!

Well, I better make sure the kids are still in one piece, nothing is broken, and let the dogs out of the house. Until next time.....