Nite out w/ the girls and some weird dreams

Scott got done early with the softball tournament. That is if you call leaving home at 5:30am and returning 12 hours later, early. However, it was early enough for me to go out with a couple of friends, one of which is recently single. We had a great time. There was lots of laughing. They were laughing at me because I was chatting up with a lot of different people. Mostly guys for my newly single friend and for the possibility of free drinks. Neither happened, but fun anyway. One of the ladies we met had a beautiful dress that she got at Target. I will need to check that out. Anyway, drank way too much. Those Vodka Collins get me everytime. I got home and went to sleep on the couch. Why, you ask? Because Scott had to get up early this morning to go fishing, and I didn't want to accidently turn off the alarm clock. Yep, he is out again. Why oh why am I so permissive? He said he won't be out too late, but then again 12 hours at a softball tournament is considered early so who knows when he will be home. So back to my hangover. Yes, I haven't had one of those in a long time. I am normally very responsible with my drinking. I usually don't drink much because I have children who need me and my functioning brain. However last night, I drank more than usual because 1. I had a headache that I so desperately wanted to go away (have a worse one now, but gone last night) and 2. just needed to forget my home issues for a while. We went back to my friends house for some late night snacking. She had some White Castles hamburgers. If you ever had White Castles, you know that they only taste good after a nite of drinking. Perfect munchy! With my drinking excursion, came some of the strangest dreams I've had in a while. I can't even explain them as they were so weird, but they involved my friends, my friend's mother, a dried up Christmas tree, a denim jacket, and a strange man's debit card in my pocket. Very weird.

Well my children need breakfast and I need a soda to help ease my tummy. I will post some pictures from the wedding in Dallas and Courtney's first communion soon. Until next time...

And life continues...

Courtney must have sensed my frustration after my last posting because she got her homework done within 30 minutes and after only being told once to do it. Amazing! Last night, the kids and I did a 20 minute "before daddy gets home" cleaning around the house. We jammed out to some music and had fun doing chores. Once again, Amazing! Today the plan is to get the rest of the house including their rooms cleaned. Will we have another incident like the other day???? Who knows, but I am hopeful. Just waiting for the "other shoe to drop".

Scott is playing in a softball tournament today. Sigh! On the bright side, a friend asked me to go out tonight. But, in order for me to go, Scott would have to be home. So here's hoping the team gets done quick. Lose 2 games and be done. I know, I know, pathetic. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

Other news: my mom is still at the nursing home. She was suppose to come home today, but she got bronchitis again (a normal occurence w/ emphazemia and COPD). I am not sure when she will be returning. Courtney and I had a tea party with her last week-end. My mom feels bad that she can't do very many things with Courtney so we thought we would bring the fun to her. It was a nice visit.

Not much else is new. Need to get working on this house. UGH! Until next time....

Excuse me, but I would like to exchange my life...

That is how I feel right now. That and exhausted. My throat is soar from yelling at my son to clean his room. My kids' rooms are a mess which is reflective of how I feel. The last 3 week-ends have been extremely busy. This past week-end we were at a wedding. Scott's parents came over to watch the kids while we enjoyed ourselves. Scott's mom once again helped the kids clean their rooms. So their rooms were beautiful on Saturday evening. It didn't take long for them to get right back to their messy state. I get so damn frustrated and aggravated. Why is it that my children who claim to love me respect Grandma more? Why is it when she asks them to put something away, they do it w/out question or hesitation? Why is it that when Scott gets the same reaction that I get, does he say "I don't know what to tell you" when I ask him how to get them to clean up? Why is it that they can clean up the toys they play with at school, at friend's house, basically anywhere but at home? I start out by stating lets get their rooms clean - nicely, in a sweet voice, with a please at the end. I then walk in on them making a bigger mess or watching tv in one of their bedrooms. It gets my blood pumping. I calmly turn off the tv and remind them that I asked them to do something. I get "its too much" from Mason and "how come I have to do everything around here" with a HUGE attitude from Courtney. To say it pisses me off is an understatement. I've had tremendous headaches the last few weeks and I must say it stems from this sense of stress in my household. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! Just once I wish my family could do one thing that was asked of them the first time. Add to it little to no support from my husband, just adds fuel to the fire. Courtney was saying something about a boy in her class doing better than she and we explained to her that there will always people who do things better than you and those who do things worse than you. Its just a fact of life. Courtney asked Scott what he did better than me. His response: dinner, laundry, housecleaning, sports. She asked what I did better - his response: I can't think of anything. Then chuckled when questioned why he couldn't think of anything. I told him that his comment not only made me look inferior in our children's eyes, but apparently I am inferior in his as well. The response I got - Sorry, I just can't think of anything. He then proceeded to not understand why I was upset! If I am so damn inferior that what the hell is he doing with me? I am sure there is a woman out there who would be a better match for him. I truly think that was the straw that broke me. Its bad enough that I have periods of low self-esteem (I've been dealing with that my whole life), but have someone who you love and so close to you affirm that feeling is just heartbreaking. I know I have good qualities, maybe even great, but that comment just shattered me, and I am not sure how to put the pieces together again. So I guess I will continue with my medioacracy (not sure if I am spelling that correctly, but you get the idea) life where my children don't listen and my husband feels superior. The worse part about all of this is that I know people have bigger issues on their plate. A dear friend who I was reunited with recently had been going through difficult times and I deeply felt for her. I wanted so badly to take her pain away. But, being the amazing person that she is, she fought her own battle and is still fighting, but she is making her way out. I know that my issues are small in comparison, but in this household of ours, it is pouring out the seams.

Need to pick up my daughter at the bus stop. Until next time...